Thursday, February 7, 2013

The honeymoon phase has crashed and burned

Alrighty, this here is the blog where I whine about anything and everything I can think of. If it doesn't sound like something you'd enjoy reading, it's probably where you should stop reading, because it's probably the only thing I'm going to do, except maybe thank a few people for me not being totally insane at this point in time.

Alright, so first of, let me just say to everyone that told me that the CLA was a professional school and blah blah blah all the lovely things about great schools should be inserted in this part, HERE'S A BIG EFF YOU. WERE YOU HIGH THE ENTIRE TIME YOU WERE HERE??? This is NOT, NO WAY IN HELL, a university. Universities have their schedules together, they don't have problems with class sizes being too big, and they ACTUALLY USE REAL BOOKS. The teachers shouldn't be shocked when they have 42 students in one classroom when you have 15 different class levels each with 20 people open to the same courses. It's not that shocking, the fuck were you thinking, only 3 people would have an interest in your course? And I don't appreciate you being all twaty and fucking up my schedule because you didn't have the foresight to understand that when you have 300 students in a program, your classes are going to be big. Especially when you fuck up every single one of my classes because of this problem.  Not to mention, maybe you should spend my money on real desks, instead of a random piece of plywood over four sticks that are uneven and barely held together! (That last part might be slightly overdramaticized, but not by much.) There is no purpose for you to have a smart board in every classroom when NONE of my teachers use it or even know what the fuck it is. THAT'S WHAT WE CALL USELESS OVERSPENDING.

Dear French people, how the eff do you raise your children? Where is the knowledge that there are other people and that you should watch out for them? I understand that when children are playing with other children, they don't particularly notice when other people are around because they're busy having fun and doing childish things. I'm ok with that, I was once a child doing those things. But dear god, when I'm sitting on a couch, in a tiny little space mind you, not taking over half of it sprawled everywhere, it shouldn't be that hard to not hit me. Especially when I'm not even in the middle of the couch. I've never seen kids run into a table or a wall or any other furniture for that matter, so why can't you teach them the same thing about other humans? SOME OF US ARE GRUMPY ALWAYS AND DON'T WANT YOU TO RUN INTO US EVERY FIVE MINUTES AND THEN APOLOGIZE, IT STOPS WORKING AFTER THE SIXTH TIME. Also, where the fuck did privacy go? I don't care if you can't read my language, stop peering over my shoulder to see everything I'm doing, I like not having your face in front of whatever screen I'm using at that moment, it's how I need it in order to SEE. Personal space bubbles exist, TEACH THAT TO YOUR CHILDREN.

Dear bus system, how hard is it to get the buses you have scheduled for certain stops to those stops at the time you've previously scheduled? I'm not even talking about bad weather conditions, I'm talking about when there are no problems whatsoever. How the fuck do you mess that up. I mean I know I'm in Europe and that you guys love to utilize your strikes, but this is on normal days. Perfect conditions, so would you mind telling me why randomly there are buses that don't make it to where they're supposed to be going? Now onto the bad weather section, one centimeter of snow is not bad weather, this should not cause you to pause the entire bus system for hours. I would accept if you reduced the number of buses or if you made it take longer to get there, I'm from Nebraska, I understand that snowy roads are not safe to go extremely fast on. But one centimeter, when it's not even sticking to the ground, in face when it instantaneously melts as soon as it touches the ground, is no cause for you to suspend public transportation for hours on end.


I miss my dog, I miss him so much I've cried every night for the past week because my bed is too big without him. I miss his hugs and face noms and force cuddles and wrestling with him. I'd even gladly let him eat my least favorite pair of shoes right now if that meant I could see him right this instant. I don't think I've ever missed anything as much as I miss him right now. I would give up sushi for the remainder of his life if he could just be here with me right now. Someone mail him to me with my unhealthy food stash?

People who read this, learn to answer your damn fb messages, if I'm taking the time out of my enjoyment of Europe to talk to you, take the time out of your boring life (I know it's boring, because I'm not there to make it fabulous) to message me back, yes REBECCA ANNE MILLER this means you, you've made the rant page, how does that make you feel about us right now???!??!?! YOU'RE LOSING THE WIFE CONTEST.

It is a sin for Jane Austen to be read in any language other than English, if the person reading said work speaks English. Get that through your head France, and don't tell me I should be reading it in French, that's like me telling you you should read Voltaire in English, because it'd capture his thoughts better.


Screw not sleeping, it's throwing a bad kink in my life, I like sleep, I can't thrive without it, I need it, like I need chocolate. This like five hours a night thing because I'm too busy crying over my lack of the big fat dog and not being british is getting in the way of my life. Someone mail me knock out pills with my dog and food. Also please make sure the food is in a safe area from Datsik's face, or it'd be a waste to mail it really.

I would also just like to take moment to thank Seulgi, Bdub, Tom and Aaron for putting up with my whiney self.  This semester has been harder than Spain on a lot of different levels, and you guys deal with me the most I feel. You guys also are the main reasons why I haven't gone into full insanity, simply because you let me whine and or entertain me for hours on end, as if I were a two year old. I wish I were that adorable. So again, thank you, really. Especially since it's February.

ALSO FUCK YOU FEBRUARY, YOU'RE TAKING YOUR DAMN SWEET TIME GETTING OVER YOURSELF. Can I just tell you how much it sucks being in France over Valentine's Day? I mean it would be a different story if I weren't single, rather just alone here for Vday. But single, on Vday in the romance capital of the world? REALLY?!??! It's bad enough back home moping around for an entire month because it's just the shittiest month in the year every year, but in France, in Europe, where you can see everyone being all adorable and coupley with thousands of hours of PDA logged on every street corner, I'm dying. Just hurry up and move on already. I can't eat that much more chocolate without exploding from it.

I think I've run out of things to whine about now. And just for emphasis, I miss my dog. :(

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